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Monday, 13 November 2017

Are you okay ? (3)

Chapter 3 : Someone


I met them . They were very dear to me. I like them a lot. I can't tell you who they are but, you will know it soon.  It was just last year, when we first met. I couldn't say anything to them because I was just a regular person. They must like someone that is 'cool' enough to be with them. I was just trying to be a good friend and they were trying more than that. They knew what was going on. I made a choice and left someone else behind. I left two people behind because I wanted to be with them. Things were okay. It was all happy and butterflies in your stomach until a few months, they slowly changed into someone you thought they wouldn't be. They stepped on the line that I created. The line that had limits and boundaries. They did not care about how hurt I was. And now, they are going to regret it. Because sooner or later, I will disappear from their life.But until then, I just hope they would appreciate me better now. Because I'm leaving soon 

Saturday, 30 September 2017

Are you okay? (2)

Chapter 2: Lost

I was thinking about killing myself lately. Maybe because I was so damn stress and sad all the time. It makes me really wanted to run away from everything. Literally everything even the things or people that makes me happy. I learnt that no matter how hard I tried to pleased everyone, they will keep hurting me. 
They make promises that I wish they would just say they can't. They didn't even try to at least make me less sad. I was crying all night thinking what went wrong. What made them change so fast? I was hurting and no one cares. No one bothers to care. 
As no one cares or asked, I tried to distract myself and became busy but at the end of day I still cried thinking about everything that went wrong in the first place. Wish they would be understanding than judging me.
 I listened to sad songs more now. Would anyone ever be there to understand me? treat me better? or even tell me they regret on how their behavior is changing me slowly? I wish there was. Because now, I'm gone. I'll disappear from their sight. I will be gone from this cruel world. No one will miss me anyway. If there was anyone who love me, care for me ..
 Thanks for existing but you do realize, you're just the same like everyone I ever knew. The biggest scar I could give to everyone is my death. I'll die and you will know why and how.  I would leave everyone that knew me a note and from that, it'll be the last time you ever receive something from me. 

Tuesday, 24 January 2017

Are you okay?

Me. I am who I am. Nobody needs to know who I am. I am not a famous person that needs to share everything to the world. Although I do share how something annoys me on social media. But for real, nobody needs to know anyway. But somehow, I would like if some people like my friends or someone I am close too knows me as well as my family knows me the best. For some reasons I'd like to keep everything low about my life but at the same time I'd answer questions when people asked me. I just really don't like people asking so much question but here I am, writing this when I know someone might read this. It's best if I keep writing you then left you on the shelf until everything became really dusty. 

Chapter one: It Doesn't Matter


It wasn't necessary. It never was. I don't want to grow up. It scares me to know that humans are more scarier than ghosts. As I grew older, I'm begining to understand why most people enjoy being alone. Or even not having too many friends. I like how it's raining and that very moment you are listening to music. And sometimes it makes you think whether you deserve to be treated that way by some people or  just thinking what might happen to you in the future. Sometimes it makes me wonder how people can meet and at the end became something they never expected. It's quite amazing. But for people like me, I don't think it'll happen to me. If it did then I'm shock to actually exprience it. Someday, people will find it amazing to just being able to express themself. But, there's more to that. Like how people define themself more than other people. It's not wrong though it might be annoying. I don't like that kind of people. It's sickening the world. What's more worst than this world is that the cruel people that lives in this world. 

Nobody asked to let them be that way. No one ever did. They made that choice by themself and sooner or later.. They'll regret .